I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
