I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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