I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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