ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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