lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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