we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
