I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize