this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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