Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The adults are the big ones right?
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