Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
