Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
