You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Plan B is the new Plan A
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
