Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
