Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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