i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
