I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
