Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
