Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
