just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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