I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
