swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Someone came in the potted fern
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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