he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
