Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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