Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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