Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize