did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
