thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
