There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
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Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
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Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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