What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
