Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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