Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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