something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
