Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
