What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on