I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
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Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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