did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?