Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
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I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
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Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he just fucked me for my cheese..