i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
