TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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