I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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