peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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