Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
