she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize