piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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