Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
