Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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