i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
