Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I need water and some morals
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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