..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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