oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
