So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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