Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
