i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
