my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
