I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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I have no recollection of sleep choking you
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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