ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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