my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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