I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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