well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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