Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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