id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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